It started with the sound of breaking glass and a barking dog. I thought, “oh shit! the dog knocked over a picture frame in my roommates living room and I need to clean up the glass.”

Not exactly.

After thoroughly searching the house for broken glass, and checking the back deck I started to smell something familiar in the air. Yep, Poppers! I realized that I hadn’t accessed this item within the last hour or two and rushed to my nightstand and the overpowering “aroma” confirmed my fear. A bottle of my premium grade poppers, procured at the annual International Mr Leather conference had exploded inside my nightstand. I ran to the window and threw it open, closed the bedroom door and turned on the overhead fan to get as much air moving as possible without allowing it to seep into the rest of the house and thereby affect the two innocent dogs that I live with. This was not good timing. I was due at the gym to meet my workout partner in five minutes.

Now, in my nightstand are the carefully chosen contents needed for any and all stimulatory activities both solo and multi-partnered. I carefully extracted the items one by one shaking off the tiny glass particles and separating said items based upon washable or non washable, which for the most part went directly into the trash. Gone are my blindfold, the exploded bottle of poppers and out of fear of a repeat, the remaining bottle(s) of opened poppers.

Also contained in my nightstand was a sampling of my written porn collection (procured over time from http://www.nifty.org/, lovingly printed and professionally bound). Today the sample was a stack of at least 3 inches tall. I briefly toyed with the idea of discarding this stack but thought better of it and simply discarded the upper most story (title noted first so that it could be reproduced and replaced into the sample) due to the glass shards sticking to it. As it turns out, this sampling of printed porn saved my day by soaking up the entire liquid contents of the little brown bottle. The stack now resides discretely on a wicker shelf on the back porch.

I should warn my roommate not to read it… She might not look at me in quite the same frame of reference again.

Once all was cleaned, vacuumed, hosed off, thrown away, and finally restocked into the nightstand, I proceeded to the gym to work out.

I was half way to the gym before the familiar “wah” “wah” of the poppers left me.