Yesterday was World AIDS day and many of my fellow bloggers have written about how AIDS has affected their lives and loved ones.

What more can I share? What more can I add that hasn’t already been said?

I’ve had 2 HIV+ partners in my life and many, many HIV+ men that I’ve known and loved and that have changed my life forever.

I grieve for them. I miss them. I am angry that their lives have been forever changed. I am more angry that the people in power do nothing and rely on their Gods and Books to help them sleep at night while millions die because they refuse to act for the greater good.

Earlier this week, I read words of Larry Kramer’s speech and was reminded of what I’ve pushed from my mind, what every gay man has tried to push from their minds.

I have been remiss. I have been stupid. I have been afraid. I have acted foolishly. I have put myself at risk for momentary pleasure. I have become a hypocrite. I’ve been lax.

On the other hand, I listen to a dear, dear friend who is in panic mode because he had a “questionably” unsafe encounter while he was visiting Chicago on Memorial Day Weekend. I’ve listened to him worry and panic and work himself into a stress-related fever over an anonymous blow-job in a certain bathhouse.

What changed?

10 years ago, I’d never even consider having unsafe sex. No Way! However, in the years since, I’ve had numerous questionably unsafe instances. I make excuses, I rationalize, but the excuses and rationalizations won’t prevent my seroconversion. I needed the wake-up call what Larry Kramer wrote. I needed it to remind me of what we, as a people, have been through, what we, as a people, are still going through.

In the past few years, I’ve noticed more and more of a lax attitude about safe sex. Adult films, web-sites, and chat-room fodder abound with unsafe activity. My own life has seen more than its fair share. This may come as a shock to some and will worry some as well. I have no excuses. I can’t change my past actions. I can change my present and future.

The war has been lost for generations of HIV+ people. The war was never even fought for countless millions who’ve died and who continue to die.

What must happen before the world stands up and demands action?

What can I do on an individual scale to encourage the rest of the world to take up arms against this terrible disease? Someone tell me. I want to make a difference.