The sunshine in Arizona was a much needed boost to my spirit. In addition to hanging out with Jason, and having my web site fixed and perfected by John (didn’t he do a fantastic job??), I had a chance to reconnect with parts of my past and see how much has changed for myself and those I love.

Jason and I were roommates at one time in San Francisco and he’s always had an influence on me that he probably wasn’t aware of. He’s always been the type to search for bigger and better things, to strive for happiness and excitement and to question his current surroundings for further improvement. (Also there was that one time when all his hurt, fear and anger was directed at me on the day the secret squirrel first reared its ugly head, but that’s for another post.)

Spending this weekend in his presence again awakened some dormant emotions for me and at one point this weekend, while I was driving John’s Mini Cooper on my pilgrimage to the In-N-Out in Scottsdale we were reminiscing about times gone by, what’s changed and what is missing in our lives. I started to tear up because it was so nice to just be sitting with him and catching up. Thankfully, the ultra dark, and sublimely stylish glasses recommended to my by Karen, hid my eyes from him. It was a simple moment that called for a simple comment.

“I’ve missed you” I said, fighting back my friggin overwhelming emotions. In the moment it took to say those 3 little words, I felt more emotion than I have in the past year and a half.

Has my life changed so drastically that simply sharing my feelings with someone overwhelms me? Emotions have always overwhelmed me and caused great confusion in my life. The pure power of joyful emotions can shake my very foundation and send me into an emotional spin that often requires a fair amount of solitary down time to readjust. But this isn’t about me today, because the emotion I was feeling, was that of love and devotion, to a friend that has been there for me in ways he’ll never truly understand, and a good dose of sadness for the paths that we’ve gone down that has separated us by such great physical distance.

The minute he pulled up to the Phoenix Sky Harbour airport Friday night in the rocket and I climbed into the sport seats for the dizzyingly fast trip back to his house, it all felt like the years and the miles were never there. I know that he will be in my life until the life goes out of me and I’m comforted by that knowledge. Though he may not be in my daily activities, as he once was, he will be in my heart and my actions.

This was going to be a post about how my life has changed over the past 4 years in Chicago, but in the middle, I realized that I needed to thank a dear friend and put me second for a change.

May the road in front of you be clear, the pavement made of recycled tires and the police unable to catch your license plate number.