January 13, 2005

a letter to a friend

On Jan 13, 2005, at 10:54 AM, Padre wrote:

Dear One,
 
I haven’t abandoned you… no, it’s just been very busy … and more importantly, I have been in a fuink… you know, one of those… feeling blue… thank you for calling… it helps.
 
Love you lots!
 
Padre

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From: removed
Subject: Re: no, we are not fighting
Date: January 13, 2005 2:14:45 PM CST
To: padre

Ugh! I hear you on the funk. thats why I called, I needed to hear a friendly voice.
I’m tired of everything. work. life. Chicago. Snow. Blogging.
I’ve been sitting here wondering, and don’t worry I’m not going to do anything rash, But i’ve been sitting here wondering for the past week what is the point of this thing called life.
You go thru life lonely, afraid, sad with moments of happiness and then you die.
Oooooh sign me up for that!

I have no direction or something. I’m drowning in my own existance.

I finally realized that one of the main reasons i masturbate as often as i do is not because i’m horny, its because i’m sad and bored and it makes me feel good if even for an all too brief moment.

I masturbate because I’m bored… what does THAT tell you about my life?

Wade
www.beyondbuffalo.com
moving beyond, moving on

getting to know me

you mentioned once that you weren’t to happy with chicago. where would you go if not there? do you see yourself leaving some time soon? what will it take to get somewhere else?
myke

Therein lies my problem Myke. If I knew where I would want to live, chances are I’d be living there already. There is the issue of $$$$ preventing me from picking up and just getting out of town, but if I truly knew where I wanted to live, I think I’d figure a way around that. Me thinks, in addition, that it may just be myself and my existance in Chicago that I’m trying to flee. We all know, thanks to Mike Brady, that no matter where you run, you eventually catch up with yourself.

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What song runs through your head most often? Do you have any recurring dreams? What is something you could tell us about yourself that would surprise us?
Scott

I have a song that keeps getting stuck in my head from the obscure 80’s band “The Ocean Blue” thats called : ‘Drifting, Falling’ but when I get tired of that, I force myself to sing the theme song from Green Acres cause that kills any song thats stuck in your head.

I have a recurring dream, but it’s too scary to share. Its always the same. I always wake up in a cold sweat breathing heavy and terrified.

Something that would surprise you? Since you’ve met me in person, you can appreciate this. I was the smallest kid in high school until my senior year. Even more surprising would be that I’m really very shy and the outgoing, talkative part of me is a defense mechanism that kicks in when I feel threatened. I would rather sit quietly talking with people that are close to me than competing for attention in a club or busy restaurant. That day shopping, you saw the nervous side of me. The gregarious, talkative and witty nervouse side.

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Cake or pie?
palochi

Must I choose? If so, then Cake. I’ve never been a fan of the flaky crust covered hot fruit. Fruit should be room temperature or colder and never covered in flaky crust with a consistence of chalk. I like my cake plain, chocolate or vanilla, nothing special.

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mayo or miracle whip?
moby

miracle whip(tm) of course.

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What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
Karen

My eyes.

show and tell

Today, I turn the blog over to you, my loyal readers.

What would you like to know about me?

What wouldyou like me to write about?