I never do this, but…
The gays are in the air
What is it about spring that brings out my lust for men?
Could it be the hot shirtless joggers running along the lake shore?
Could it be the muscular hairy legs poking out of the shorts of the men walking along Broadway in Boystown?
Or could it be the sun that brings me back to life and fills me with happiness after 6 months of gray?
Methinks its all of the above.
In other news…
I had a lovely visit from my Blog-Daddy and his boyfriend on Sunday afternoon. Apparently, I’m the only gay man with a white BMW wagon in all of Chicagoland, beacuse they spotted me as I was leaving IKEA and knew instantly that it was me. They called and agreed to make a stop in the city on their way home to Indianapolis.
It was lovely. They met Stella, and sat in the living room sipping S.Pellegrino as we chatted over life and current affairs. I felt as if life was finally good. I like having visitors. Especially when they are all very attractive people! It brightens my day to be able to open my home and share the warmth I’ve created here with people I care about.
Thanks for visiting Blog-Daddy!
March 29, 2005
Hodge Post (part deux) ™
Men Seeking ?
Fishing for the big one
I am interested in finding the man with the largest cock in the Chicago Area. If you think you have the largest one, whether you’re straight, bi-curious, bi, gay, I don’t care. E-mail me with your stats. I’m bi-curious myself, and I’d like to play with the biggest one I can find.
hookinbigone, 49 #109054
I found the above personal ad in the Chicago Reader this afternoon while I was enjoying my Potbelly sandwich. Its good to have a goal in life.
My friend Tom dreams in color…
I had the weirdest dream last night. I was in Windsor Castle, walking down the stairs, and there sat Queen Elizabeth, crying into her white gloved hands. I sat down next to her on the step, and she leaned over and started sobbing onto my shoulder. I put my arm around her and asked what was wrong. She said she was really upset about Charles and Camilla, and there was nothing she could do to stop the wedding. More crying. A butler started walking up the stairs, and she sat up long enough to tell him that there had been too much salt in her dinner that night. She turned around on the step to talk to him, and as she did, she let out a little fart.
Then I woke up.
Tom is HOT, I can totally understand why Queen Elizabeth would want to sob on his shoulder.
A Brady Bunch Moment
I had a Brady Bunch moment this afternoon after I picked up my prescription antibiotics. I’ve been fighting a cold/cough thats moved into my chest for about a month. I got into my car and looked in my mirror, over my shoulder and in both side mirrors before starting to back up. Luckily, I saw the minivan before she hit me and was able to avoid it. I seriously flashed to the scene in the court-room where Mike Brady threw his briefcase onto the floor to prove the guy’s neck wasn’t really hurt.
As I pulled out of the parking lot I wondered who’d be my Mike Brady. Who would be smart enough to throw his briefcase in my behalf?
positively negative
The energy around me has been changing the past few months, or rather, I’ve finally figured out what that energy is. Negativity.
Thanks to my chat yesterday with Anonymous Padre, I’ve realized what has been eating away at me for such a long time. Since I moved to Chicago, my long-term friendships have become stale and strained. Perhaps not on the surface, but deep down, I do not find the warmth and joy of these friendships as rewarding as I once did. On the surface, everything is fine. We talk daily, we keep up with each other’s lives, or rather, I keep up with theirs, and we truly care about each other’s well-being. Yesterday I realized that I’ve stopped sharing my deeper feelings with my friends because, for the most part, they don’t ask about them.
When I lived in California and I would spend time with my friends, there was no hiding my feelings because my face is too expressive for my own good. If you look into my eyes, you’ll see the very fires that light my soul or the deep blue of my ever present struggle with depression. Take away the face-to-face interaction and I become very good at hiding the true nature of my life.
While discussing all this with AP, he said the words I’ve been afraid to utter for myself. “You’re lonely” he said, and as I wiped the tears from my cheeks, I realized that he was right. I have friends, I have acquaintances and activity partners, but I’ve never been this lonely before.
I’ve been hesitant to publish this post because my long-distance friends read this almost daily looking for little tid-bits of humor and a window into my day-to-day existence. I don’t want to get telephone calls from them all of the sudden concerned about me, asking me why I’ve never mentioned this before. They know that I go through life for the most part oblivious to my emotions until they flare up and demand to be dealt with.
Top all of this off with the fact that my circle of friends in Chicago is not the most supportive or sane. I’ve been wondering why I’ve become so incredibly negative in my thoughts of late, and while shopping with friends this weekend, I sort of disengaged from the group and watched them interacting with each other and with strangers. At the end of the shopping trip, as we headed to the garage to get the car, not one person offered to help with the $25.00 parking fee. Its not that I needed the money, or even would have accepted it, but it would have been nice if something was offered.
So what do I do? How do I put myself and my needs in a position to have them met without being selfish or self-centered? How do I balance between giving everything of myself with giving nothing of myself?
March 28, 2005
Take the gay out of the ghetto…
Thanks to Mark, I stumbled upon this site earlier and spent the afternoon creating my own wet-dream. It just goes to show you that no matter what technological advancements are made, I’ll use them for my own twisted perverted means.
March 26, 2005
I’m just sayin…
I know this isn’t a legal document, but given my meager lifestyle and savings, this will have to do. All the talk in the media of late about Terry Schiavo and her persistive vegetative state have got me thinking about what I would like to happen if I’m in a similar situation.
I say. Pull the damn plug. Remove the tube and starve my ass, just make sure I die thin and fabulous. Then put me in a Hugo Boss suit, set me on fire, and scatter me to the winds.
I believe that means “do not resuscitate” should I die in surgery. Do not keep me alive by artificial means. Put me in a designer suit. Cremate me.
Now with the scattering… There are two schools of thought.
and one last thing. There is a vintage suitcase under my bed that contains items of a, let’s say more personal nature, that needs to be disposed of prior to the family claiming my belongings. While you’re at it, double check the night stand.
March 24, 2005
Panic makes me loopy
I’m either in the middle of a 2 year panic attack, or the cold medicine has taken over my functions because I’m thinking crazy. Loopy crazy. J Lo and Ben crazy.
Its been well documented that I’m a tad bit unhappy with my current employment situation. Mainly the fact that I can’t seem to close any new business to save my life. I try. I work really hard for weeks at a time until I burn myself out and get all un-motivated again. Then I languish for a week or two until I pull myself back up and try, oh how I try again. Well, I’m nearing the end of the most recent two week languishment and I’m struggling for motivation to kick into gear. I tell myself that the harder I work, the more shiny pretty things I can buy myself. The more fashion designer suits and clothes I can fill my closet with, the more traveling I can do, the faster my beloved Rikka will get paid off. But none of this has worked for me. It sucks working in a money driven career when you’re not driven by money.
That being said, I’ve been considering a move again. To a smaller city. A quieter place with a slower pace of life. A place where I could possibly purchase a home and set down some roots.
My weekend in St. Louis allowed me to slow down a moment long enough to consider a few things. Do I really need to live in a huge city? Do I need to have it all at my fingertips, when chances are I’ll never even check all of it out? Wouldn’t it be better to be the big fish in a small pond than a small fish in a big pond? Do I even want to be a fish?
These were just a sampling of the questions racing through my flu-ridden mind the past few days as I languished (oh how I love that word) about the apartment trying to clean my head of both mucus and depression.
I think the answer is yes. I’m not sure which question “yes” answers, but the answer is most definitely “yes”.
March 23, 2005
Its good to be Wade
It must be good to be me.
According to the Urban Dictionary, Wade means
1. Wade
n.
1. One who is enviable in every aspect of his existence.
2. One who induces inferiority complexes and bitterness due to his unattainable and nearly-inhumane perfection.
(Note: This word should always be used as a capitalized proper noun, in order to pay homage to the one true Wade. Furthermore, any references to Wade using personal pronouns must be capitalized out of respect. Any bastardizations of this term should be treated as capital offenses, and punished as such. Any contradiction, by anyone, to the aforementioned defintions is due to the effects on one’s psyche as described in defintion #2. Do not hate these unfortunate people, pity them, as they are suffering from an envy of Wade. Also, anyone who claims to be Wade, or denounces, belittles, or insults Wade is a bitter fraud; Wade does not identify himself, as he needs no identification.)
Wade rules- This statement is, of course, inherently redundant, as it is implied by defintion that Wade is perfect.
2. Wade
n. One that is completely enviable in every way. If this person wasn’t himself he would wish that he was. syn.: perfection.
wade is perfect.-this of course is redundant as it is implied that wade is perfect by his very existence.
3. Wade
Having a complete urban understanding. Empathetic to everyone, understanding and kind. Lovable and beautiful in his own right.
Everything about Wade is amazing from his killer body to the fact he always smells amazing. Wade is the most amazing type of person in the world.
I’m not making this shit up. I swear. And I smell nice too…