Hodge Post (part deux) ™
Men Seeking ?
Fishing for the big one
I am interested in finding the man with the largest cock in the Chicago Area. If you think you have the largest one, whether you’re straight, bi-curious, bi, gay, I don’t care. E-mail me with your stats. I’m bi-curious myself, and I’d like to play with the biggest one I can find.
hookinbigone, 49 #109054
I found the above personal ad in the Chicago Reader this afternoon while I was enjoying my Potbelly sandwich. Its good to have a goal in life.
My friend Tom dreams in color…
I had the weirdest dream last night. I was in Windsor Castle, walking down the stairs, and there sat Queen Elizabeth, crying into her white gloved hands. I sat down next to her on the step, and she leaned over and started sobbing onto my shoulder. I put my arm around her and asked what was wrong. She said she was really upset about Charles and Camilla, and there was nothing she could do to stop the wedding. More crying. A butler started walking up the stairs, and she sat up long enough to tell him that there had been too much salt in her dinner that night. She turned around on the step to talk to him, and as she did, she let out a little fart.
Then I woke up.
Tom is HOT, I can totally understand why Queen Elizabeth would want to sob on his shoulder.
A Brady Bunch Moment
I had a Brady Bunch moment this afternoon after I picked up my prescription antibiotics. I’ve been fighting a cold/cough thats moved into my chest for about a month. I got into my car and looked in my mirror, over my shoulder and in both side mirrors before starting to back up. Luckily, I saw the minivan before she hit me and was able to avoid it. I seriously flashed to the scene in the court-room where Mike Brady threw his briefcase onto the floor to prove the guy’s neck wasn’t really hurt.
As I pulled out of the parking lot I wondered who’d be my Mike Brady. Who would be smart enough to throw his briefcase in my behalf?
positively negative
The energy around me has been changing the past few months, or rather, I’ve finally figured out what that energy is. Negativity.
Thanks to my chat yesterday with Anonymous Padre, I’ve realized what has been eating away at me for such a long time. Since I moved to Chicago, my long-term friendships have become stale and strained. Perhaps not on the surface, but deep down, I do not find the warmth and joy of these friendships as rewarding as I once did. On the surface, everything is fine. We talk daily, we keep up with each other’s lives, or rather, I keep up with theirs, and we truly care about each other’s well-being. Yesterday I realized that I’ve stopped sharing my deeper feelings with my friends because, for the most part, they don’t ask about them.
When I lived in California and I would spend time with my friends, there was no hiding my feelings because my face is too expressive for my own good. If you look into my eyes, you’ll see the very fires that light my soul or the deep blue of my ever present struggle with depression. Take away the face-to-face interaction and I become very good at hiding the true nature of my life.
While discussing all this with AP, he said the words I’ve been afraid to utter for myself. “You’re lonely” he said, and as I wiped the tears from my cheeks, I realized that he was right. I have friends, I have acquaintances and activity partners, but I’ve never been this lonely before.
I’ve been hesitant to publish this post because my long-distance friends read this almost daily looking for little tid-bits of humor and a window into my day-to-day existence. I don’t want to get telephone calls from them all of the sudden concerned about me, asking me why I’ve never mentioned this before. They know that I go through life for the most part oblivious to my emotions until they flare up and demand to be dealt with.
Top all of this off with the fact that my circle of friends in Chicago is not the most supportive or sane. I’ve been wondering why I’ve become so incredibly negative in my thoughts of late, and while shopping with friends this weekend, I sort of disengaged from the group and watched them interacting with each other and with strangers. At the end of the shopping trip, as we headed to the garage to get the car, not one person offered to help with the $25.00 parking fee. Its not that I needed the money, or even would have accepted it, but it would have been nice if something was offered.
So what do I do? How do I put myself and my needs in a position to have them met without being selfish or self-centered? How do I balance between giving everything of myself with giving nothing of myself?