For the first time since I’ve been blogging, I’ve suffered a loss due to the words I’ve written. The lovely man that made me dinner a few weeks ago, sent me an e-mail advising me that he’d be blocking my e-mails, telephone calls, and IM chats due to what he calls my double standard.

He was completely correct in the notion that I have a double standard. I do. I’m ok with it too.

My double standard has to do with sex.

Standard 1.
I meet a man that I like. He’s intelligent, extremely handsome, and engaging. This man is someone that I would like to know a little better, perhaps even date. When I meet such a man, it is often my habit, to refrain from jumping into the sack too quickly, lest i make sex the focus of whatever is to develop between us. I would prefer to know this person better and therefore enjoy the intimacy of the first sexual encounter as if we were making love and not having raucous, anonymous sex.

To me. it means more to wait for someone i like. It means so much more.

Standard 2.
Anonymous, shallow, passionate, sweaty, monkey sex much like that i experienced at IML (feel free to read the older posts, since it was those posts that has seemed to cause so much friction among my readers and the person I outlined in Standard 1 above).

This standard allows me to meet someone, have sex, knowing that the chance of ever seeing this person again, let alone getting to know them, is about as likely as a dozen Krispy Kremes surviving an hour at a fat camp.

I believe that such double standards are acceptable and after my initial reaction to his e-mail, of taking the web site off line and erasing all record that i knew him, I became more and more angry at the very thought that he should judge me and cut off all ties without even giving the chance for dialog.

Final words on this chapter. I had an amazing weekend with a wonderful, kind, thoughtful, and interesting man. We had moments of intimacy without anal penetration, and i was looking forward to spending more time with him, learning more about him and his life experiences, and ultimately “consummating” that interest and intimacy with a passion that had a chance to develop and grow and build into an amazing expression of my feelings for him. BUT. He closed the door because of his perception of my activities at IML. I no longer need small minded, judgmental men making me feel bad about who I am and what I do.

Good bye to you as well Eric. May you find someone to put out.

On to other topics, like New York City!
The flight to NYC wasn’t the best experience since I’d just read the e-mail from Eric ten minutes before I left the house. I was sullen and unhappy the entire way to NYC, until I saw Married Well walking towards me thru Penn Station. We headed back to their fabulous apartment on the west side of Chelsea, dropped our bags and promptly headed to the Empire Diner for dinner.

Its always so good to see Married Well and his husband interact. They are kind and considerate to each other, they thank and compliment each other and you can really see that they love each other.

Anyway.

After dinner, we headed back to the apartment, where we ran into my neighbor from Chicago, walking into the same building. Awkward greetings, surprised introductions and quick goodbyes as they exited the elevator.

This morning, Married Well and I headed out to see the city. I was in search of a marginally famous celebrity, like Jenny Garth, Melissa Joan Hart or the girls of En Vogue. There was a moment when we thought we saw one of the Full House girls, but then we realized that she was too fat and couldn’t possibly be one of the Olsen Twins. We walked thru some beautiful areas on our way to the Brooklyn Bridge. We passed thru SoHo, Tribeca and Union Square. Once we got to the bridge, we started across. We got about 50 yards out and I said, “Ok. far enough” and turned back around and headed for Macy’s to do a little shopping.

Tomorrow, I’m meeting my neighbor and Poodle for brunch, since they’re in town for the Tony awards, and then I’m off to the Museum of Modern Art, to look for ideas for my next two tattoos.

Off to dinner. Ta from NYC.