Wow! What a weekend. I’m on my way back to Chicago, but had to take a few minutes to stop and write the events of the weekend (well, I have an hour layover in Denver).

TLBO bought a new (previously-owned) BMW X-5 on Saturday morning. I sat in the car, while TLBO ran in and signed the paperwork, fighting off a severe case of acid-reflux, or maybe it was just gas from those damn Tommy Burgers I had the night before. At any rate, he was in an out of the dealer before I had a chance to belch and relieve some of the stress on my system. Beautiful vehicle, even if it is a gas-guzzling SUV.

Speaking of gas, TLBO and husband introduced me to the Tommy burger Friday night after drinking until the wee hours of the morning. Too drunk to realize what I was about to ingest, I ordered a double chiliburger which turned out to be two hamburger patties, covered with cheese and smothered with chili. My God, it was amazing. So much so, that we went back on Saturday night again. Yes, I’m still suffering, but it was so worth it.

Friday night, we started at a bar in Silverlake (I think) called MJ’s where TLBO has a crush on one of the bartenders because he gets free drinks all the time. I realized that I have a crush on one of the bartenders as well, but my reasons are decidedly much more graphic than a free drink.

While enjoying the feeling of being “fresh-meat” in a new locale, Rod (short for Rodriguez) and his sister’s ex-boyfriend introduced themselves to me. Rod was friends with TLBO and the husband. Apparently, I found out, Rod also has a thing for tall, somewhat dorky white boys. I found this out when he jumped into my lap and shoved his tongue in my mouth. Of course, I responded in kind by returning the favor, and we shared several moments of PDA’s that would make a porn star blush. I would like to report that this hot Latino had a very nice and firm body.

Leaving MJ’s for some new scenery, of course telling Rod where we were headed, we ended up at a corner bar (I forget the name). TLBO’s husband has an office in the upper floor (setting the stage here), and there are two hunky big bear bartenders slinging drinks. We ordered, grabbed a booth and were promptly attacked by a drunk lesbian ordering us to buy her a drink because she was a lesbian. Exit stage left.

Rod showed up, we macked a bit more, and I leaned into TLBO’s husband and asked for the keys to his office upstairs. With a glint in his eye, and a smirk, he handed over the coveted keys and the Latino and I were off for a few moments of passion.

Fast-forward 20 minutes.

TLBO exits the bar to see me standing on the corner, diet coke in hand, contented smile on my face, and a wet spot on my shoulder. I was oblivious, but happy as he leaned over to Rod and asked, “Does your goatee smile like ass”?

To which Rod responded, “No. My ass smells like goatee”

I love L.A.