A few posts back, I discussed my displeasure with anti-depressants of all make describing the side effects as a wet blanket thrown over my emotions, or some such descriptive prose. I quietly received an e-mail after that post from one of my tens of readers suggesting I look into hormone therapy (i.e. Testosterone replacement therapy). He/She went on to describe the same reactions/side effects to the medications that affected me.

In an unusual and bold step, I decided to call my good doctor and inquire about this not-often thought about treatment and was told the pluses and minuses of such a therapy. Once he filled my head with pharmacological hooey and confused me even more, he relented and scheduled an appointment for some blood work to check the various levels of “stuff” in my blood stream.

I finally heard back from my good doctor and I was not even close to ready for the results of those tests. I sat there shocked on the telephone, while my doctor, in great detail, shared with me, the results of my blood tests. It took him some time, to first describe what the test results would indicate, then why these results happened, and what steps could be done to work within the results of these tests.

Most of you, my beloved tens of readers are aware that I like to keep my emotions pretty close to my heart. I don’t share so much about those pesky “feelings”, or my worries. I will break that rule today and share something that has shaken my very life and being to the core.

My blood type is o-negative.

I know, not very shocking, but I had you on the edge of your seats. What’s a little drama without a little fun?

Though I was curious about my blood type, (something I should already have known long before my current age) it was the other 3 tests that I dreaded the results of to a greater extent. My Thyroid was “normal” (whatever THAT means), and my hormone levels were “normal” as well.

So you can all see why I am so shocked about the results of these tests. It means that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me to cause the depression I’ve been fighting so hard to expel from my life the past few years. There is no medical explanation, other than that serotonin-re-uptake thing that is causing such unbearable pain and sadness in my life. Nothing. No low hormone that I can replace, no thyroid condition, no real medical explanation what so ever.

That can only mean that I’m depressed because my life must truly suck. What other answer could there be? Don’t worry, instead of taking responsibility for this turn of events, examining my life to find out the root causes and taking steps to move towards a happier existence, I’ll find yet another medical route to explore in hopes of finding something, anything that could be construed as causing my pain.