Look at some pretty flowers
I’m taking a blog-vacation. As I come upon my two year anniversary. I’m tired of writing, as those of you, my less than tens of readers remaining have found and i’m not putting my soul into it. Two years is longer than I’ve stuck with most of the things in my life. I mean I wanted to quite football 2 days after i started, once i realized it was excercise and not just sitting in the lockerroom mostly naked snapping towels at each other’s asses.
So I’m leaving you with a field of flowers. A field that stretches on as far as the eye can see. Cause they’re pretty and this world needs something pretty and uplifting even more these dark days.
Thank you for sticking with me these last two years. Check back in July (towards the end) and I’ll be back up.
June 21, 2006
wednesday wank
Maybe the missing link for a roll in the hay.
June 19, 2006
A little something to get your week going.
June 15, 2006
rant#439
I dream of a day when hatred, bigotry and discrimination no longer exist. I dream of a world filled with hope and possibilities for better lives for the people. I dream of a world where greed is looked down upon as much as it is worshiped now.
I know Utopia doesn’t exist, but it would be nice to see a glimmer of it from time to time. I cannot understand the thinking of people who are so full of hatred and admonishment towards those not exactly like them. I cannot understand how people do not realize that we are all in this together, all people, all nations, all religions; we all need each other to survive.
Why then do we fight and kill and lie and do all that we can to sabotage the good work of people out there trying to help the greater good?
I am ashamed for the state of affairs of this country, this world and its leaders, both political and business. How much do people truly need? When will people have “enough” that they can start to share it with others? $400 million? $1.5 billion? When do those without stand up and say “Enough!”?
We have the power, for the time being, to make change in this world. It starts at home in the local sphere of being. The GOP is pushing this concept hard trying to take the focus away from the failures of the regime. It starts with each of us and the choices we make, it starts with how we feel, love, behave, and the footprints we leave.
Much like the story of Peter Pan, if we believe hard enough, we can save ourselves, oh and tinkerbell too. Of course, if we believe hard enough, we can also destroy ourselves and everything that matters.
June 14, 2006
Lost. If found, please call…
This morning while waiting for my medium Starbucks coffee with a cold soy top to be prepared and handed over the counter, (yes I refuse to use the typical Starbucks lingo) an immense sense of loss hit me, overwhelming me and almost knocking me to the floor. I stood there, dazed, confused and trembling with my newfound revelation of loss, trying to regain my composure as my hot beverage was handed to me.
This loss is now palpable in its enormity. I struggle with the knowledge that I have misplaced my God-given, American sense of entitlement. I do not feel worthy of the Blanco Mommy Wagon, nor the self-refilling Starbucks card, the sexy, slim Razor mobile phone, the less-than-one-year-old, yet already out-dated iBook, the GayPod or the GayPod mini. I do not feel entitled to the $200.00 sushi meals at lunchtime, nor the worldwide travel plans. I should not enjoy the flat-panel television and WiFi home network. How can I manage to live with the Ted Baker suits and the Hugo Boss pants let alone carry on wearing my vast range of stylish shoes?
My life is empty, pretty, but empty.
Come back God-given sense of Entitlement. I need you. I miss you!
wednesday wank
June 12, 2006
the 401(k) plan
I’ve been having the strangest thought lately about retirement funds. Mainly, the money I have going towards my 401(k) withholding every week, which mysteriously disappears from my paycheck before the taxes are levied. Am I wasting my money? I don’t actually plan on retiring so should I continue this contribution? Wouldn’t a new suit or some snazzy new shoes be better?
I don’t plan on retiring and for this, I blame the Republicans. Well not JUST the Republicans, I also blame the religious right and all the closed minded people that are preventing my people (shhhhh the gays) from marrying. My people are extremely youth culture obsessed and I can’t tell you how many older gay men I often see still trying to hold onto their fading youth, dressing like the twenty year olds or hitting the gym harder than the 30 year olds, slathering untold amounts of skin care product onto their faces to hide the emergence of those tiny lines the would give away their true age.
I know this because, with the exception of that gym thing, I’m going to be one of them. I know this because it is the fate of my people. We are destined to remain buried in the youth obsessed culture until the mainstream culture will allow us to join them at the matrimonial altar.
Marriage allows people to let go, to give up and wear elasticized pants, to stop working out, to not care about tiny lines around the eyes. Marriage allows you to settle into your own skin and get old without fear of being alone. You have someone, by law, and if you believe in the traditions of marriage then you have them till death.
My people have no such legal requirements to put up with our spouses crap, we can walk out the door and not look back, and it happens much too often. We are trapped in a shallow, self-absorbed existence because the rest of society cannot handle us. Oh sure, they love us for our art, our theatre, even our fashions, but the thought of sucking dick or taking it up the ass is too much for Ma and Pa Kettle of small town USA to handle.
So without the security of a spouse, I’m left to fend for myself, regardless of the fact that I’m with someone or not. I do not plan to be one of those older gay men that leer uncomfortably at the younger boys; I also do not plan on living to 60. Thanks to the government constantly rising the age of retirement, and my horrible concepts of savings I’m destined to work until my final day, July 9th, 2029. (Unless something pre-dates that final day)
So the question is now asked, should I cash out my 401(k) and pay off some debt or put it towards a house?
