Manners are a strange beast. My parents were very serious about raising my four siblings and me to be mindful of how our actions affect the lives of those around us. We were taught to respect people’s things, people’s time, and people’s attention. We were taught not to stare, not to touch fragile things, not to yell and most importantly, not to wake our father who worked nights and slept most days. This was a challenge for the five of us to be sure, but for the most part, my father slept soundly during the daytime while we were outside, playing or doing our chores.

I admit that I grew up in a patch of trees, surrounded by cornfields 20 miles from anywhere, but the lessons my parents taught me about affecting other people with my actions have moved with me throughout my life from city to city. In almost everything that I do, I am mindful of how my actions directly affect others. I am not perfect and do not claim to be, but I am mindful most of the time.

Given this upbringing of mine, I find it extremely difficult to understand people who do not have the slightest consideration for those around them. For example, the Latino man, parking his vehicle at 1:16am last night in front of my apartment building. The night was cool and crisp so I decided to sleep with the windows open and was awoken at exactly 1:16am while this gentleman maneuvered his oversized SUV into a tight parking space. His windows were all rolled down and his Latin music was at a volume that guaranteed you would hear it for 2 blocks. During the 5 minutes it took him to squeeze into the parking spot, his music changed from a loudly crooned Spanish love song to a accordion-driven dance song which continued to blare while he made sure the windows were rolled up and the sunroof (or moon roof, I really don’t know the difference) was closed. He exited his vehicle and activated the alarm, which, true to form was connected to his horn. Four blasts of the horn and I was ready to jump thru my window and strangle him. Five minutes later, he returned to his vehicle, 8 blasts of the horn, he retrieved something he obviously forgot, closed the door and 4 more blasts of the horn and he was off to bed

And I was wide awake listening to the sounds of the city. The far off sounds of the city given the vast expanse of the Chicago urban landscape.

How is it that I can sleep thru trains rolling by, aircraft flying overhead in their landing pattern for O’Hare and dogs barking, yet something that is controllable by a human being wakes me up?

Bad manners abound and while I was lying there trying to get back to sleep, before Stella started in on her nightly rabbit chase barking and whining, I started thinking. I know, normally the idea of me thinking is a dangerous proposal; but this time it calmed me enough to fall back asleep about the same time Stella started her adventures.

The question that calmed me was “How?” “How can a person impart to another person in a polite manner that their actions are adversely affecting many people and they should be more considerate?”

I’ve considered printing up cards to leave on vehicles that are parked in such a manner to take up twice the room, but the wording I come up with always seems to impart my anger and frustration with their stupidity and self-centeredness and doesn’t help them to understand that they are making life more difficult for their neighbors, or could it be that I am self centered enough that I expect people to have consideration for others (ie . me) in their actions?

So I ask you my dwindling bevy of readers. Any ideas?