Quote of the day
“Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day;
teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.”
I’m home from Buffalo and Toronto and getting my life organized. December is always my busiest month, work-wise. It is the only month that I personally visit every account, check-in in person and drop off goodies to the people that pay my bills.
I’ve got a crazy 3 weeks in front of me so I shan’t be posting often. My thoughts are with you, my fives of readers.
i hope all is well in your world.
November 22, 2006
Gobble Gobble
Happy Thansgiving everybody. I’m making my semi-annual pilgrimage back to Buffalo to spend the holiday with my family.
I hope you all have joyous and happy times.
I’ll return next week.
November 17, 2006
Bond James Bond
I saw Casino Royale last night at a 12:01am showing. The theaters were packed and the crowd was very diverse in age groupings. I was not dissapointed. The guy standing near us in line was beautiful and we were trying to gage wether he was on a date or not. I said “no”, Rubs said “yes”. At any rate, the date was going badly and he really wanted to be with me. I could tell by the way he avoided my leer stare gaze.
The movie did not disappoint either. I think it was better than the last 2 combined. However, the product placement forced into the script did a huge disservice to both the movie and the advertiser. Ford Motor Company and Virgin Atlantic airways were by far the most obvious.
In one scene, the entire scene exists for the only reason of showing off the Ford product line. The Jaguar, Range Rover, and Ford marques being the only in the scene. The lingering snail like pace of the scene was more car commercial than James bond.
In another action packed scene on an airport runway (obviously pre-War Against Terroristic Practices(tm) due to the lack of any sort of security or nightmarishly long screening lines in the terminal, a Virgin Airlways 747 jetliner is digitally added into the scene taking off of the adjoining runway.
I don’t mind product placement, per se, but product placement shouldn’t detract from the story line. The audience shouldn’t groan when the product hits the screen as they did in this film; rather they should subconsciously note that the hot car being driven was a Ford Motor Company product not even available for sale in the United States. Perhaps if Ford Motor Company would bring cars like that to the US, they wouldn’t be in such dire financial straights.
But who am I, except an obvious auto enthusiast that goes through a car every 2 years?
Irf you can get past the blatently obvious and horribly scripted product placements the film is mostly pure classic James Bond.
“shaken or stirred?”
“Do I look like I care?”
you’ll understand that exchange after the movie
November 15, 2006
Wanderlust
I’m getting that feeling again…
so far internationally…
and domestically…
create your own visited states map
Wednesday wank
November 13, 2006
Monday madness
I’m stuck at home today, unable to move my car thanks to my fucked up neighbor’s abhorrent parking skills. The person that parked behind me last night is so close to my rear bumper that I cannot even open my trunk or walk between the two vehicles. Then this morning someone parked in front of me, a pick-up truck with a tow-ball extended from its bumper, in an equally personal-bubble penetrating manner. Mind you, there is ample room on the opposite ends of both vehicles, in fact, entire parking spots.
People never understand why I bitch about the idiots that park in this neighborhood, but if you were to walk up and down the block at any given time, day or night, you’d be amazed and the lack of skill and common courtesy much of these people possess.
At least I’m warm n cozy in my apartment, avoiding the falling drops of ice-cold rain. I’m on my second cup of illy coffee n chocolate soy and I’m surrounded with that wonderfully carcinogenic aroma of a fresh plastic shower curtain.
A final note to my readers. Your comments will no longer immediately post once you publish them. Thank you to the anonymous poster who perceives intimate knowledge of me and my inner workings based purely upon the words written here (yet having no concept of my humor, sarcasm or personality) I have decided to force all comments to undergo moderation approval prior to posting. I’ll still approve comments provided a name is attached but it may take me some time to get to them. (Note- The Shrub(tm) did just sign legislation making your very activity a federal crime and I’m going to look into forwarding the annoying comments to the FBI. Yes, I’m THAT petty.)
Happy Monday to you happy people. I’m going to go try to extricate my car.
UPDATE: I managed to extricate “el Negro” from between the SUV and the truck without actually touching either vehicle. I only wish the SUV last night could have done the same stellar parking job. Once I got out of the spot I looked at the bumper. Two very deep gouges in the bumper and the corner was rubbed by the SUV, removing a fair amount of paint. Thanks alot fuck-tard neighbor! I’m only pissed because I haven’t even made a payment on this car yet and its already fucked up.
November 10, 2006
strong enough for a man…
…but totally made for a woman. Its pink, it’s effervescent and it’s fabulous. The Republican called yesterday, shocked, utterly shocked at how quickly she slurped down the can of Tab Energy she picked up to help her get through the day.
“You’ve got to try this stuff” she said licking her lips audibly. (Loud enough to hear over the phone with a bad connection, the windows rolled down and the stereo blasting away a sappy 80’s melody by a band with complicated hair.)
Assuming, from that stellar selling point, that it was a tasty beverage, I popped into my local mass-market, mass-manufactured, food distributor and picked up a few cans to “give em a try” and yeah, they’re that good.
I feel thin
I feel energized
I feel fabulous
I feel pink
I feel fizzy
I feel like a power blonde in a room full of lonely hot businessmen. (That could be because it’s Friday though…)
If you can get past the female leaning advertising, packaging and color, give it a try.
I wonder if it is as good with Vodka as a Red Bull…
November 9, 2006
Chivalry is dead.
Yesterday I took a moment, a brief moment, to give “el Negro” a bath and have the copious amounts of white fur removed from the back seat. Yes, I took Stella for a ride and haven’t been able to roll the windows down since for fear of choking to death on the windstorm of flying hair. Unlike the Blanco Mommy Wagon, “el Negro” has cloth seats which her hair rather nicely clings to. In the BMW, I could roll the windows down and the wind would whisk the shed follicles out the windows and sunroof leaving little trace on the pristine seats covered with the hide of the endangered Naga-beast.
While waiting for TLBO’s people to dry my car, I took a seat on one of the two park benches set up for just this purpose and gazed over the hardworking brown people and the fat lazy white people like me. I was in the suburbs afterall.
Shortly after I sat, a tall thin woman in a smart suit exited the building and joined us to watch her vehicle in the wipe-down phase. The benches however, were full and she was forced to either ask someone to find room for her to sit or stand until a seat became available.
I was raised to respect women. You know, open doors get up and offer them your seat and for a moment I considered doing just that. Then I noticed the brand new BMW that followed her out of the car wash and realized it was hers. I opted to stay seated where I was. Chivalry be damned.
Tom is right. BMW drivers are asses.
Thankfully, “el Negro” is a VW.