where are the gays?
I’ve been in California for about a month now and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m on an extended vacation. It still feels like I’m going to have to rush to the airport, at the last minute, to catch a flight back to Chicago.
It could have something to do with living a half hour south of the city, it could do with having most of my friends even more scattered across the country than before I moved, taking into consideration the new people I added to my life while living in Chicago.
I miss my routine. I miss my Saturday tater tot excursions. I miss lounging on the park bench in Andersoville with Stella and coffee and watching the day go by.
I’ve been rather focused on work since returning, as you can tell from my lack of posting, and have been distracted from re-connecting with people I knew before. I think, as I begin to settle into the week-to-week routine that I’ll feel more like I’m really here.
In truth, it could just be that I’ve dreamt of being back here for so long, glamorized and white-washed everything so much that I’m a little under whelmed by my return. Don’t get me wrong. I’m VERY glad to be back here. But this really is like picking up my entire life and starting over. Even with the Republican and a few other friends here, I’m starting from scratch for the most part and that is never easy.
I need a gay. Once I meet a steady gay that will go shopping with me, watch bad movies with me, and go drinking with me, I’ll be fine. In the meantime, there’s a lot more work to be done. Those accounts aren’t going to close themselves.
September 21, 2007
IN MEMORIAM
*** Written by Alex on Linus’ BigMuscleBears profile***
Linus passed away on September 19th, as a result of suicide. He had battled depression and anxiety for many years. He finally decided to not fight it anymore, and he is finally at peace.
Linus left his hometown of Eureka, CA and his biological family behind the day he graduated high school in 1987. He made San Francisco his home for 20 years, and he was quite an institution here.
He created an amazing “chosen family” of wonderful people here, online and around the world. I know we all will miss his light.
Linus was a genius in his field of clothing design. He had incredible career as a designer director at Esprit, Eddie Bauer, Levis/Dockers and American Rag. He also launched several of his own lines including the recent amazing but ill fated Selfmade Collection. He had recently begun to teach men’s fashion design at Academy of Art in San Francisco and was enjoying teaching the next generation of designers.
Linus modeled and acted in several independent films. He was, at his core, a creative and an artist. We all have enjoyed the beautiful pictures of him captured by many professional and amateur photographers. These are wonderful memorials to a beautiful man. Many of you know how beautiful he was on the outside, and for those of you who knew him personally, you know he was just as beautiful and remarkable on the inside.
Linus loved making friends through BMB and other social sites. You were an important part of his family.
The email account below goes to me in case you want to send a remembrance. I’ll try to post them here to celebrate Linus.
–Alex (Linus’s loving and very sad partner)
MissingLinus@mac.com
*** I had a brief encounter with Linus one evening while he was visiting Chicago with Alex a few years back. I spent the night at the bar watching him, drinking in his beauty, watching his infectious smile. Later, I ran across his profile and sent him an e-mail telling him just that and we had a short correspondence. He was also featured as a Wednesday Wank shortly after. From what little I knew, he seemed like an amazing, kind-heaarted man.
September 19, 2007
wednesday wank
September 18, 2007
update
I realize that I am way overdue to update this site but I’ve been getting myself back into a routine, work, transit, focus, all that good stuff. Work is going ok so far. Things are coming back to me quickly (though not as quickly as I’d like) and I’m getting my bearings.
I can’t tell you how glad I am to be back in the bay area. Even though the area has changed significantly in the last 8 years and the cost of living here is astronomical, I think I’ve had a good disposition and a smile on my face since I arrived (save a few irritations with the new apartment and the children playing soccer and using the patio as a goal). All in all, I’m glad I made the move.
I’ve got to get back to work, but wanted a quick update to everyone. I’ll be better about writing.
September 12, 2007
wednesday wank
September 4, 2007
settling in
I’ve moved into my place… started to unpack… waiting for reliable internet service to be installed this weekend. Once I have an actual ISP I’ll resume writing. Until then… I’ll be chillin by the bay!